Author: perseveranceonamission

I was in the US from November 29- December 9. I thought it was the perfect time to go: get a quick break in right after sponsor week before the Christmas season begins at the orphanage. I’d get my fill of Thanksgiving and Christmas without being there for either. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoon was planned to visit with family and friends in Florida, where Friday night to the following Saturday was packed with activity in Dallas.

Most of the time, I adjust fairly well from Guatemala to America and back again. This time, culture shock hit me hard. Most of my time in the states, it took me a few seconds to realize I could answer question and start conversation in English. I got in Wednesday night, enjoyed a few of my favorite meals from my hometown, got in an appointment, shopping trip, guest speaking in an elementary classroom, and a few visits before what was going to be another busy day Friday morning before my evening flight. But, my plans suddenly changed.

Thursday night after I got ready for bed, the stomach bug hit. I’ll spare you most of the details, but both ends were hit nonstop from 10:30 that night until about 11 the next morning. My mom and I tried to fit in a visit to the local urgent care so my 3.5 hour flight wouldn’t be so miserable. We arrived at noon, and I got my blood pressure taken two hours after arriving. So much to say that we left the office before being seen by a doctor, giving me about 15 minutes to pack my luggage before we headed to the airport.

I was tired, weak, and didn’t want to do a thing, yet I managed to make it through the airport and the flight without any major problems. Thankfully, I had an aisle seat, and the middle seat was empty! (On the flight back to Guatemala, I got an entire row to myself for volunteering to sit in the exit row!) I got to close my eyes for a few minutes on the drive from the airport to gain the energy I needed to walk to the Christmas party at the nearby park. We got to see the giant tree decorated, took the dog on a walk, and got our photo with Santa!

The week was meant as a time of rest and relaxation, yet sharing the bed with an 11 month old puppy does not allow for much sleep. The overgrown claws walking around the wooden floor for about a half hour isn’t too easy to fall asleep to. When he does decide to come to bed, he stretches out and takes up the center foot of the queen sized bed. And, on the best day, he let me sleep till 6:30 until I took him outside or someone else took care of that for me. The lack of sleep didn’t even matter when it came to having a puppy wanting to curl up and cuddle in bed with me.

Saturday morning, I headed out to the Dallas Farmer’s Market for the first time. I had to do everything in me to fight that feeling of not wanting to make eye contact with any sellers nor their products (habit built from walking around MANY Guatemalan markets). Being sick the previous day, I hadn’t gotten any food in me the past 24 hours and been doing my best to stay hydrated with Gatorade and water. Yet, I felt my energy quickly decline walking in crowds under the Dallas sun. We stopped at a local drug store and grabbed a pack of Gatorade before heading to the bookstore.

One of my church friends and I were searching for a book to read and study together, so we call up the pastor for suggestions. We inform him that I will be at church the following day (since my last visit in March), and he asks me to speak to the church. Less than 24 hours from service time. No time to prepare, put a slideshow together, nor memorize a well written speech. I’ve got to admit, for anyone who doesn’t know me, I’m not the greatest public speaker. My stomach might get sick just from standing on the stage, not to mention my sickness these past few days. Yet, I said yes.

The next morning came, and I was ready. I hadn’t prepared anything, yet I was filled with excitement to share with my supporters, prayer warriors, and church family what God has been doing though me and the ministry of Casa Shalom the past couple of months. My nerves and shaking legs might’ve said otherwise, but I was happy to take the mic and share with some familiar faces and a few new ones a slice of the past 8 months in Guatemala. I might’ve been a part of the church for 4 months, but I am so glad to be accepted into the family. Thanks LOFT!

The following evening I got invited to go to a worship night. I was all excited and ready to go ever since I heard about it the previous week in Guatemala, yet I was cautious to say yes to going, knowing it was an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people, I’m guessing with a lot of standing and singing (both those things come at a worship night, right?!) I was feeling so-so, brought my Gatorade, and made sure to sit on an aisle in case the stomach felt ill again. For the two hours we were singing and praying, standing up and sitting down, turning to face our neighbors, those two hours were the best I’ve felt since I left Guatemala Wednesday, six days earlier.

I’ve noticed that I get more out of my worship singing in Spanish, rather than English. Whereas English words seem to come out naturally, I am just repeating a chorus I’ve memorized from the radio. In Spanish, I’m still learning the language, and I’m more focused on the meaning behind and uses of the words. English comes out on its own without me giving thought to the empty words. Spanish, the words are filled with a definition and meaning. Most people would consider it an English worship night, but I made it a bilingual night, at least for those songs I was able to sing in Spanish!

Movie time! Planning my trip, I wanted to see 2 movies in theaters: Wonder and Coco. Timings worked out so that both movies lined up right in time to see them on the same night. Again, I wasn’t too sure if I could be in the movie theatre for 4.5 hours without having some type of stomach discomfort. No problems at all.

Wonder is fabulous. It points out a lot of the struggles I’ve faced in my own life. A boy with a facial deformity shares about the thoughts that go through his head when meeting new people, making new friends, and his struggle with bullying. A lot of his thoughts line up with mine, and one of the names he was called in the movie I have also received a few times. Not to spoil it too much, but he receives an award at the end for sharing his heart with people, and I had a flashback to accepting my award for servants heart back at my high school graduation. An emotional movie, as I watched a bit of my life depicted on a movie screen. Coco was a great, happy pick-me-up after an emotional movie. Celebrating the day of the dead, I was reliving walking through the cemetery this past October finding one of Shalom’s baby’s gravestone on the day of the dead. Another fun-filled movie from Disney I’d watch again and again!

The rest of the week was filled with friends visits, Christmas tree decorating, gift wrapping, (pumpkin) baking, crafting, game playing, puppy cuddles, staying warm by the fireplace, and the lightest Dallas snow flurry (that made me super excited to at least get to see the tiniest bit of snow).

As bad as my stomach pain felt for the week and a half I was eating bread, yogurt, and bananas in the states, I ate burger king, little Caesars pizza, brownie sundaes, donuts, and fried chicken all within my first 24 hours of being in Guatemala, and I feel awesome!

If my focus is on the pain in my stomach from sickness, the canceled plans because of it, sleepless nights, and the activity I missed out on Guatemala while I was vacationing, vacation stunk! If it’s on all of the people I got to see, things I got to experience, baked goods I made, and pain in my stomach due to laughing so hard, vacation was great. And I say, vacation was great!

Although I got word of a dozen kids and 2 volunteers leaving the Casa Shalom family in the week and a half I was out solely through email and social media, my focus is on the 10 year old boys peeking around the corner filled with excitement to see me coming down the hill, others running full speed shouting “HARPER!”, almost getting knocked down several times from great big bear hugs, and some smiling ear to ear to see me, with their arms open wide. Home sweet home.

November 25 was the start of my second sponsor week at Casa Shalom. It was very different but also some of the same as the previous one.

My first sponsor week, I had been living in Guatemala for 3 days, I could comprehend the basics of elementary spanish, and I knew about 30 of 80 kids’ names. This was also my first time actually getting to interact with a group of strangers I have only heard stories of. I wasn’t too much of a help that week, I’m sure of it now!

This time, I am constantly called in different directions to help with translation between kids and their sponsors, I am now able to provide more information about Shalom, and I knew at least 10 of the 18 sponsors who came, either from the previous sponsor week, or a team that came and visited this summer. I was able to greet several at the airport with a great big hug and get to meet family members of a few who decided to tag along this time.

This was a much bigger group as well, with 18 sponsors and 27 kids, compared to 11 and 14 the previous time. Mostly ’cause I did my job promoting it over social media and through email (not to brag!) It was definitely a great group of people, yet it was a challenge to keep 45 people together while walking through the streets of Antigua or finding the restrooms at the airport. I lost track of how many times I had to do a head count in the moving school bus.

The sponsorship program is a blessing to not only the kids and sponsors, but to the volunteers at Casa Shalom as well. These past 5 days, I’ve gotten to see some relationships start and others continue on. I’ve been to the point of watery eyes watching the two interact and share time together. It’s really interesting to share a bond with someone solely over email and then get to put a face and personality to that email address.

Some have also become close friends to me. About 5 of us were playing uno for about an hour and a half together, not focusing on how tired we were nor what all is coming tomorrow. We were enjoying our last night together, competing in a kids’ card game and laughing until our stomachs hurt.

The main event of the week was an extreme park, X Park. It had a rock wall, a ropes course, a zipline, a free fall, high jumps, a mechanical bull, and bounce houses for the little ones. Most of the morning, I was running around, trying to get photos of everyone everywhere, but also being available to help if someone got hurt or needed a translator.

As lunch approached, I got to participate in the fun. My adventure partner for the day? One of the sponsors I got to meet last Easter. The oldest of the group. A high school math teacher who is a little more than 4 decades older than me. She and her husband sponsor a tiny, 40 lb, 8 year-old boy who wasn’t big enough to do everything. Here, I was gaining the courage to go down the zipline or jump from 10+ stories up because a 60 year old was encouraging me and was excited to participate in most of the activities with me. She was my biggest cheerleader for the day and was one of the ones I’m glad I’ve gotten to share some time with this week, along with her husband, who did the 10 story free fall with me!

Sponsorship plays a huge role in the lives of the kids and all of Casa Shalom. Providing school, food, medicine, and the gospel to the kids is a great blessing to all. Sponsor week is a week dedicated to get to not only meet and build a relationship with the sponsored kid, but to take part in activities together (church, movie theater, X Park, meals, etc.), bring gifts for them, and make memories with the kids and fellow sponsors. I’m so glad I could be able to play a tiny role in the sponsorship program, to get to watch these relationships start and continue to built after each visit or emailed letter. Although we constantly have kids (and sponsors) coming and going, each of these relationships are irreplaceable, between kids and sponsors, and myself as well. Thank you to each of the sponsors, whether you were present this week or not!

One of the biggest weeds in my life for a long as I can remember is setting limits. Limits on my own abilities, limits on the things others are capable of doing, limits on my expectations. I guess in a sense, I am setting limits not only on what I can do with my God-given talents and abilities, but also setting limits on what I allow God to do through me.

For instance, before 2017, the last interaction I had with a horse was when I was in 3rd or 4th grade at a girl scouts retreat. My troop and I all started to make our horses run in a gallop around the ring. My horse decided it would leave the track and go full speed out into the open field, leaving me hanging on for my life, only to come to a complete stop, as we were inches from running through the fence. I never pictured myself working with or near horses ever again. And therapy? I’ve had two experiences with therapy in my life, neither of which I chose for myself nor would want to do again. Guess one of my main roles at Casa Shalom? I’m one of a few in charge of leading and enhancing the horse therapy program, and I have also been an assistant in various forms of therapy, including worship, art, and play therapy.

All through my life, I’ve pictured what my future job might be. One of the titles I’ve crossed out early on was the role of a teacher, because of the great teachers I’ve had in my life and my “inability” to fill those shoes in another individual’s life. The last time I sat down to play the piano, I was probably in 4th grade. I viewed the piano as just an early elementary school learning tool, not really something I could continue on with. Today, I am a teacher to 2 piano students all because I followed the instructions from a YouTube video, practiced for a few hours a week, and can play a few worship songs.

I’ve often considered myself a creative an artistic person, yet I don’t share too many of my art projects with others due to my lack of confidence in my work and talent. In the coming months, I will be helping decorate the new library and have put myself in charge of painting a mural on the wall, also throwing in some of my ideas for color/design.

Going to a small Christian college for four years, I doubted in myself that taking up God’s missionary calling would be a long time coming, with paying back school loans. I’ve made it through 8 months of living life in Guatemala, and I see no end in the near future thanks to all of my friends, family, and supporters.

It’s been challenging for me to put a definition to the word love, being surrounded by broken relationships. Some of those, I’ve watched from afar, while others I have been a part of. I’ve been hesitant to jump into strong relationships quickly, fearing that an end might soon follow. Now, I am in a position where relationships come and go day after day. Short term missions team members. Interns. Volunteers. Guatemalan children. Whether the relationship lasts only a few weeks or comes to an unforeseen halt after several years, I am quick to show others the love I have for them.

This past weekend, a couple of the volunteers and interns were planning a hike up to an active volcano (Pacaya). I was so excited to take part in this adventure, until it hit me. I am not in any sense fit to hike uphill. I get overheated really easily, and hiking around a smokey volcano doesn’t sound like it would be chilly at all. Nonetheless, I said I’d take part, not knowing if I’d be spending a few hours waiting at the car while the others were exploring.

It was one of the neatest experiences I have had since I’ve been in Guatemala. Yes, it was a tiring hike, but it was worth it when we made it to the top. Being surrounded with volcano rock is unlike anything I’ve seen before. It weighs almost nothing, yet I couldn’t manage to break it. It was almost like being on another planet. Passing by piles of rocks, we stuck our hands in what felt like a sauna, as the heat of the volcano rose. Along the way, while we were still surrounded by many plants and trees, our tour guide clipped some branches off the trees. At the top, he pulled out a bag of marshmallows, and we all got to roast them over a crater. I’m not sure if it was just mental, because I was hungry, or all part of the experience, but it was one of the best toasted marshmallows I’ve eaten.

The hike up was tough, but the way down was a blast! A sandy hill, we all slid down with sand reaching up above our ankles. Each step we took equalled about 3 or 4 with our feet sliding with the sand. I kinda felt like I was skiing. All to say, I didn’t place limits on my abilities that day, allowing me to partake in a once in a lifetime, fulfilled, exciting adventure.

I am constantly surprising myself with the Spanish words I can comprehend and repeat back. I am astounded by the little instances that come along my way where I can get involved or make a difference, if only for a few seconds. I am trying to notice more and more of where I can strengthen my abilities, let go of setting limits, and let God work through me for others’ needs- no matter my previous experience (or lack thereof)!

The last few years, I recognized this day with a photo of a cute orphan who I got to share a week of my summer with. This year, Orphan Sunday is a little different. Today at church, I attended one in the capital city that one of the orphanage’s previous residents attends. I got to hear a sermon about Christians being doers of the word, not just listeners. This is when the pastor pointed us to the verse James 1:27, that we should look after orphans and widows in their distress. We were reminded of the 40+ girls who lost their lives early this year in the capital’s biggest orphanage, solely because no one was there to meet their need of being heard.

Later in the service, 2 couples and a younger gentleman (about my age) took the stage. One couple works at a children’s home. Another couple had adopted two orphans. The gentleman in the middle in the gray shirt lived at Casa Shalom for nearly 15 years and opened up to the congregation, sharing some of his testimony, the difficulties of living in an orphanage, and how he’s succeeding now due to the care that was shown to him. (Side note: I wasn’t sure what outfit to wear to a new church today- casual or dressy- so I chose a skirt and a nice top, the same I wore when I shared a bit of my testimony and my volunteer work in front of my congregation this past January. Parents, don’t be mad at me for not telling you until almost 10 months later!)

Orphan Sunday is more than a day on the calendar. It’s a day to recognize those who don’t have families who love and care for them, for those who feel lost without a purpose, who have faced challenges in life most of us in the US rarely give a thought to. Living in an orphanage is more than playing with kids all day. It’s hearing questions like, “Do you have a family? A mother? A father?” as a normal conversation starter. It’s seeing the physical scars of abuse, whether it’s skin deep or had become a handicap in a way. It’s assisting in therapy with those kids who are mentally scarred due to lack of care or support. It’s watching a life transform from scared and hopeless to one full of purpose and hope. It’s loving and caring for those that have never felt either.

I am hoping orphans are thought of and prayed for more than one Sunday out of the year. That the homeless and abandoned are a part of the church family. That orphans are recognized as people too. That they have a purpose. That they come to know of their adoption from the greatest Father.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭68:5-6‬

I am loved. I am adopted. I belong.

Orphan Sunday

In Guatemala, the school year runs from January to October. Some schools finished mid October, while others aren’t out until the end of November. To say this first week of vacation (for most) was jam packed of activity would be an understatement.

A little over a week ago (27th), one of our teens boys had an emergency removal of his appendix. He spent the weekend recovering in the hospital and returned to the orphanage Sunday afternoon, while a few of us were in the next town over for church and lunch.

I checked in on him right after dinner to see how he was feeling, only to walk into the house to see him crying, freezing, huddled underneath a thick blanket. 4 of us American stayed by his side for 15 minutes, praying over him and getting anything he might’ve requested.

Later that evening, I wanted to check on him again. Knowing that there were a couple of boys in his house with a fever, we were all worried for him, that catching a fever wouldn’t be the best thing while recovering from surgery. We passed around the thermometer, washing between each use, the highest fever being at 104 who was also sharing a bunk bed with the one who had his appendix removed. I sat outside the house for almost an hour, waiting to see if the prescriptions were filled and the antibiotics were being taken. At about 10:30, 3 of us headed to the pharmacy to pick up the meds needed for tomorrow.

Monday and Tuesday were normal office days, only a bit busier than usual. Every other month, the child sponsorship program send out worksheets from the child to their sponsor. That means handing the sheets to each house, fighting them to get it back completed, looking through the stack to see who’s missing (and hunting them down), translating each sheet, scanning and renaming each one by one (for 100+ kids), and go child by child down an excel sheet, making sure each sponsor receives a worksheet from their sponsored child, changing the email template with the child’s name each time. All to say, it is a lot of work, and it just so happened to fall on the first week of vacation.

Wednesday, a few of us went to a kite festival a few towns over, maybe a half hour’s drive without traffic. Since this is one of the main places the kites are celebrated, it took over an hour and a half to get into the town and meet up with our coworkers who live there. The traffic was of no importance to us when we saw 100+ foot tall kites decorated solely using tissue paper and glue. Some of the 30 standing high took 6 months to make, surrounded by regular kites flying in the breeze through the crowds of people. The 6 of us managed to all keep together by joining arms and grabbing purse straps through tight crowded streets. Open fire grills cooking snacks for visitors and street vendors selling overpriced Guatemalan souvenirs to tourists lined each side of the road. We managed to find our way to a small cafe for lunch, before starting our 25 minute drive home.

That night, we heard that the kids from the orphanage were headed to Antigua the next day to fly kites over the city, so I was getting excited for that… until our oldest resident walked up to me and hand me an invitation to his ring ceremony for the following day and his graduation on Sunday night. So excited for him and proud of him that there was no way I was going to decline the invite!

9:45 the next morning, I piled into the van with a few of his house mates, some of the orphanage’s employees/volunteers he is close to, and his brother headed to the ring ceremony. It was a beautiful few hours filled with lunch, a speaker, the placing of the rings, a singing quartet, and some previous alum sharing their experience through school and where they are today because of their education. I’m glad I got to share a part in his special day.

Friday was also a busy day in the office, sending out the last few worksheets and responding back to those sponsor who responded to our original emails. As I was leaving the office a little after 5 ready to rest for almost an hour before dinner, about 30 kids were out playing on the court. They saw me walk past and wanted me to come play with them. I quickly ran to my room, changed into comfy clothes to run around the court giving a piggy back ride! I was nonstop from 7 am until about 9 pm!

Saturday I was able to rest for some of the afternoon. The morning was full of reading and playing cards with the younger boys, climbing a tree with the preschoolers, and working with the roommate to clean our house and her new classroom. Night came, and I found myself busy again helping with translation at a youth game night and devotional.

Most Sundays, I am either with the kids enjoying a visitation or off to church in Antigua. Not this week! We headed out to the theatre to enjoy a show with the 4-10 year olds. At times chaotic, but we had many volunteers to help. One was a little scared, but overall everyone loved the show and the meet and greet that followed!

Back to the orphanage we went, and I had about an hour and a half to make myself lunch and get dressed up before we took off to the graduation. We packed into the van and headed back to the school. We arrived at about 5:15 to grab good seats before the ceremony started at 6. In total, we filled almost 3 rows of 6 with roommates, Casa Shalom employees/volunteers, and the graduate’s family members. Honestly, I felt like a proud big sister! All was done a little after 8, and we took about a half hour to make our way through the crowds, each getting our photo taken with the new graduate. The night wasn’t as late as I’d expect it to go, including a Guatemalan school ceremony, but 9:30 felt like midnight by the time the night was over.

All in all, a great, fun-filled, tiring start to vacation. I’m excited to share these next 2 months with the kids being out of school!

I’ve got a roommate! One of the interns I was lucky enough to intern alongside in 2015 (on the right in the picture above) has now moved down here to Casa Shalom full time, like me! She will be running the tutoring program, taking over the library, and assisting in the therapy of our littlest babies, toddlers, and pre-schoolers.

I’m not going to lie, having a roommate has its ups and downs. Most of my life, I’ve had a bedroom to myself, aside from 3 years in college (where we’d usually have different schedules, making the room at times feel like our own) and a short period in my childhood years sharing a room with my sister, that I had forgotten about until writing this post! I have to get familiar with my limited personal space getting almost cut in half, sharing the space with another young lady that has about the same amount of clothes, toiletries, and snacks as I do.

Having a roommate also makes me more cautious of my mess and holds me accountable for things (although she may not realize it). I have been lacking in my daily devotionals and journaling, maybe 4 days a week. Since she’s been here, I haven’t missed a day. I find myself opening up a little more, and noticing how I spend my time. Although, I still know I need to make time to give myself a break every once in a while, I am more likely to bring my cards out for a game, help make a kite, or interact more with some of those I would normally ask “How are you?” as we walk past each other.

She’s a talker, and I’m a listener, so we compliment each other well. Some of the things she’s been mentioning that she wants to help in while at Casa Shalom, I have been kind of thinking on some of those same things. Like the library. She has the keys to access the books and is going to be making a schedule of when kids can come in and check out books or stay to read at the library. I might be helping her out with that, providing that we can get a room and set up a comfortable atmosphere that the kids look forward to going to the library.

We are both at the same level of Spanish fluency, so we are always bouncing vocab words off of one another and asking for help when we lose track of what’s being said. While she was interning here, she  lived with the little girls (ages 7-11) and I lived with the pre-schoolers (4-6, boys and girls). We’ve both grown close to different groups of kids, that I feel most of the basis is covered, with her spending her time with the girls she’s grown close with, and me with the younger ones I’ve grown closer to.

I think that the two of us together will be a great team working towards enhancing parts of the orphanage that lack guidance, organization, and/or time.

Most of the time I pray aloud with the kids, it’s usually before a meal. One will be leading the prayer, and the others will be echoing back the sentence, so that we are all saying the same prayer together. Often times, it’ll sound something like this: “God, thank you for another day of life you’ve given to us. Thank you for the food on the table and for the roof over our heads. Bless the cooks. Bless the caretakers. Bless those who are out on the streets, who don’t have food, or who are in the hospital. Thank you for Casa Shalom. Keep us. Guide us. Protect us. In your name, Amen” Sounds a little different than how we’d pray over our meals, right?! I got to thinking why I felt strange (and almost uncomfortable) repeating those words with them. I’m not going to lie- I am selfish in my prayers. I ask God to bless the food to my body, to watch over me, or even just help me make it through the day without losing my mind. But it hit me.

They were once in that same place. They know what it feels like to be homeless. They haven’t had a roof over their heads or food on the table at times. Some have been in the hospital due to parental care (or lack thereof), yet others weren’t provided the hospital care when they needed it. I couldn’t give you a number, but a large percentage of Guatemalans are homeless, eat one meal a day, have no access to education, nor are able to fully provide for themselves and/or their family. Even now living with them here in Guatemala, I find myself looking forward to my next meal, the next time I can wash my hands with running water, or to escape inside from the sun’s heat. My focus is on myself and the normalcy of life I often take advantage of, instead of thinking upon the children and families living on the streets just outside the orphanage walls.

Instead of focusing their time with God on their own wants/needs, they use it for the benefit of others. They give thanks to those who are cooking their meals and caring for them. They are rejoicing for another day of being alive at Casa Shalom, knowing they are being protected by whatever it was at their previous “home” that brought them to the orphanage. They are thankful for the blessing of food, a table, and a roof. They know what life is like outside of these walls, and remember to cover the less fortunate in their thoughts and prayers. They aren’t directing their attention towards themselves, but the people and the gifts that God has placed within their lives.

Even in their prayers, these kids teach me. They are setting examples for me in my walk with Christ, as I had hoped to do for them when I moved down here. Each one of them is a gift to this Casa Shalom family, and I give thanks for the time I get to share with each one of them (see, there I go being selfish, again, with MY time with them!)

While I was visiting the US last month, I noticed a lot of growth. This doesn’t just include myself, but my (now) 9 month old puppy, my relationships with friends, family, and sponsors, and, after I arrived back at the orphanage, the plants surrounding my front porch. Some of them are quite pretty, standing 4 feet tall, with dandelions atop, small flowers budding, and leaves the size of my hand. Others are small weeds and grass-like plants, weaving their roots into the dirt just below my rock bed. It’s hard to look at the beauty in the flowers, when there is so much weeding that needs to be done.

This past week I’ve been taking a half hour or an hour every few days to remove some of the weeds, pulling and cutting to see the rocks underneath. Let me tell you, the bigger the weed, the deeper the roots, the harder it is to fully remove. Without removing the roots, it’ll just grow right back. I’ve seen it happen with a few I’ve pulled just days after returning.  I’ve gotten a couple of bug bites, I’ve gotten a few blisters on my hands, and it’s taken a lot of time, but I am seeing more improvement day after day, as long as I continue working on it. It’s not easy and it’s nowhere near perfect, but it’s definitely better (and easier to look upon) than it was the day I got back. Funny thing is, if I don’t give it some effort, it won’t disappear on its own, but may end up growing stronger and/or larger.

While I was on my knees taking scissors to the most stubborn weeds, I was also thinking upon weeds in my own life. Those things I can’t seem to get rid of that I know are causing me to not be the best I can be. I know, like the weeds on my front porch, if I put the time and effort into removing those weeds from my own life, I will start to improve. I know it’s not going to just all disappear in an hour or two of work. It’s looking for those little instances I can seek another option or decide not to let the “weed” dig its roots deeper into me. It is a process that will take time, effort, and may sometimes be difficult or painful, but it’s worth it.

I want to see the rock (Christ) within me that may be hiding underneath my weeds, those silly little things I let get in the way.  I won’t be perfect, but I will definitely improve more if I continue removing those weeds from the root just in the small decisions I make everyday. I want myself and others to see my flowers, rather than my weeds. What is/are the weed(s) in your life? Maybe it’s a characteristic, like greed. Doubt. Pride. Selfishness. Guilt. Negative thinking. Impatience. Fear of the future. Or maybe it’s more physical, like a relationship that needs mending (or ending). An idol. An addiction. A bad habit. Consumption (not only including food and drink, but music, television, gossip, etc.) What can be done now to start removing the weed at the roots?

“They will no longer defile themselves with their idols, or with their
detestable things, or with any of their transgressions; but I will deliver them from
all their dwelling places in which they have sinned, and will cleanse them.
And they will be My people, and I will be their God.”
Ezekiel 37:23

The second weekend of September, just before my visit to the US, I helped out at a youth group outing. We visited two theme parks, Xocomil (water park) and Xetulul (theme park). Don’t ask me how to pronounce them, I wouldn’t be able to help you out!

There were 22 of us piled into 2 16-passenger vans, 13 teens, 6 chaperones (myself included), and another van driver with his wife and daughter. 5 am Saturday morning we were on our way to the parks. We drove for about 3 hours with a break for breakfast (McDonalds) and a bathroom break/gas fill-up. We found the restrooms to get our suits on for the water park and dove right in. From about 10 until 1, we were free to roam the park, taking on any water slides we were brave enough to board.

I was given two girls, 16 and 18, to “watch over” for the day. We had a blast, enjoying every slide we could find that we hadn’t tried before. It was the water park with a variety of slides, both for groups and individuals, a wave pool, smaller water jungle gyms for the little kids, and a lazy river. We were running from slide to slide that we barely had time to even see the river or the wave pool. I know we were all worn out and tired at 1:00 that we were excited to head on over to the amusement park and ride some coasters!

The parks were side by side, only taking a 3 minute van drive to move the car in front of the park’s entrance. My two girls and I went with a larger group to grab lunch together at one of the park’s restaurant. It was a pirate theme, with the employees wearing costumes, nets hanging from the ceiling and everything wooden, like a pirate ship.

Somehow, about halfway through our time at the amusement park, I ended up looking over 4 girls and 2 guys. I didn’t mind… We were running across an almost empty amusement park catching as many rides as we could in the 3 and a half hours we were given to ride! (This park, you pay to enter, and then pay for either a pass for a dozen rides or a wristband for unlimited rides, so most people would rather pay once and enjoy unlimited water slides.)

It was starting to look rainy out, so we purchased a few of the passes with a dozen rides. Surprise, we had to go back and purchase another two before the day was over! There were a few large rollercoasters, one my girls and I rode I think four times. There was a ride like Splash mountain, those chairs swinging in a circle (found at most state fairs) and several of those up-and-down, pendulum, and smaller kids rides.

Our final ride of the night was a pendulum sort, where we were all seated in a circle at the bottom, while the pendulum went back and forth and the ring of seats slowly spun around. It slowed down, and we were all expecting to get off. Nope. It was sprinkling, there was no line, and we rode it for 4 rounds worth, screaming “Again!” every time the ride would come to an “end.” Glad that was the final ride of the night. As fun as it was, I was kinda starting to feel sick, after swinging for almost 20 minutes.

We spent the night at this campground, with rooms/bathrooms separate for girls and boys. Our room had I think 17 bunk beds with mattresses about as thin as the length of my pointer finger. Since there weren’t enough girls to fill each bed, I slept on two mattresses, giving me a little extra comfort on the wooden bunk beds. All the kids went to the campsite’s pool for an hour or so after we got back, but I showered and was in my pajamas at 8:30, after a long, tiring, fun day.

The campsite provided us breakfast just before heading off to church. Lunch was pizza hut before the 3 hour ride back to the orphanage. We made a quick pit stop for any of those who wanted to grab an ice cream cone or a coffee for the drive.

Church was a great blessing, after not getting to attend many services since I’ve been in Guatemala. One of my two girls took the mic and shared some of her testimony and of Casa Shalom’s impact on her life. And one of the volunteers who came to help out for the weekend.

The service was about thinking upon the impact you are making in others’ lives. How will people remember you? Will you be part of a list of people, as seen in the Bible so many times (Father of…, son of…, son of… etc) or would you make an impact and be the last on that list, “…did what was right (or wrong) in the eyes of the Lord.” Will you have an impact that makes you remembered for more than a placement in the family line? Will you be remembered for good or for bad?

Remembering up this weekend, it was a blast. Sure there were some downsides of large blisters, tired legs, and a lack of sleep, but most of what I remember makes this weekend a good one. It was full of getting the giggles on the rollercoasters, a party in the van on the way home, and many memories that will stick with everyone who came along. From my point of view, and I think the other 21 who went, it was a great weekend that stands out from a list.

Like this weekend, I want to stand out from a list. Yes, I still sin and make mistakes, but I want to be remembered for the good things I do rather than the bad. I don’t want to stand out from the list as someone who moved out of the country. I want to be remembered by the impact I’ve made in each of the lives of the kids here at Casa Shalom and for those lives I meet elsewhere. I don’t want to be associated with my sins and mistakes, but rather how I’ve overcome them and helped others overcome them as well. I want to be remembered just as I remember this weekend.

These past 2 weeks, I was back in the US spending time with friends and family. The visit was made up of a great dozen days enjoying some of the people, places, things, and food I’ve missed most from America. No, I did not get to travel across the US visiting everyone who has supported me on this mission journey, but I got to spend most of my time in Florida, with an extended long layover with a few in Dallas….

Like you might’ve seen me mention before, my flight leaving Guatemala took off at 7am and my last flight landed in Palm Beach at midnight. The driver and I left the orphanage at 4 to arrive at the airport 2 hours before my flight. I landed in Dallas 11:15, made my way through customs, and was outside the airport at 11:35. 20 minutes was a surprise for me, as all my previous international trips took at least 45 minutes waiting in multiple lines and filling out just as many forms. Thanks to Dallas’ automatic machines that do all the work (and my carry-on luggage)!

I pulled into the driveway at 12:15 and was immediately tackled in the front yard by a Golden doodle puppy I got to share 3 days with before moving to Guatemala. I think he remembered me!

It was a great afternoon filled with friends/family, laughter, hugs, and snacking! Thanks to those of you who made my short visit to Dallas worth it!

After a joyous few hours, I really wasn’t looking forward to going back to the airport just to do the same things all over again, only to make it to bed around 2am. A quick look through my email, and my flight was rescheduled for the following day, due to the hurricane. I got to extend my Dallas visit a little longer and spent the night there.

It was another 7am flight the following day off to DC, a half hour layover (with changing terminals) and I was kinda getting nervous I wouldn’t make the connection, not knowing anything about scheduling the flight nor the DC airport. I was quick to get out of my seat, power walk my way across the airport, and arrived 4 minutes before boarding. All in all just to say that my first 36 hours in the US flew by! I actually took a nap the following day. (I’m not too sure of the last time I took a nap that wasn’t due to sickness and/or recovery. I guess 48 hours of travel and working with crazy kids for the past 5 and a half months will make me tired!)

Yes, as much as I loved visiting the US and the people/things there, there wasn’t a day I wasn’t thinking of my kids and how much I miss them. I gotta admit, I’m not too good at remembering my dreams in the morning, but the only thing I could remember in my dreams over the two weeks were the faces I saw. Every morning. Sometimes, it was off new kids coming in, others, it’s of kids who have been here for years or those who have recently left and come back for a visit. Every night, I’d close my eyes and could only picture the children of Guatemala and Casa Shalom. No doubt that I am where I need to be!

My way to Guatemala Sunday morning was out of Miami. That city is a pain just the way it is, but the airport only adds to it. Thankfully we left about 45 minutes early, so that the few missed turns didn’t cause me any problems. I was seated at my gate over an hour and a half before the plane started boarding. Why do they make you arrive to the airport 2 hours before international flights? I don’t think I’ll ever know!

Customs was a breeze in Guatemala as well. I guess not a lot of people were traveling that day. Usually, there are 8 booths, each with their own line of 20+ people waiting to get a stamp in their passports. Yesterday, I had a single person in front of me, with a small line to one side, and all 8 booths were open to these 2 “lines.” 20 minutes after getting off the plane, I met the van driver outside the airport.

I was hot and sweaty, wearing long pants, caring heavy luggage quickly through the airport, and trying to keep my heavy rainboots on my feet. This visit seemed to fly by, and I was already starting to miss the people I said “see you later” to just a few hours/days earlier. I arrived at home, with a dirt covered porch and muddy bathroom floor (that were both swept and mopped before I left), feeling so exhausted, not wanting to unpack but just to think back on the past couple of days. I felt alone, remembering the community I’ve recently experienced. That’s until I went down to get dinner.

I went down to the cafeteria a little early to notify loved ones that I was safely at Casa Shalom. All I could hear was little voices coming down the hill to get a meal to eat. My smile started to grow. I was surrounded by kids, some walking past saying welcome back. Others coming to give me a hug and asking me where I’ve been or how I’m doing.

I was waiting for my food up at the kitchen window, and one of the house moms was quick to wrap her arms around me and invite me into the house for dinner. The kids in the house were running outside as fast as they could to give me hugs and tell me how much they missed me or thought of me. I prayed with them before we ate, and the one that was leading the prayer directed it towards me, thanking God for watching over me, blessing me, and bringing me back safely to share the night with them. We were all huddled together, with me seated at the center of the half circle. It was one of those moments I will never forget

I do miss everyone I got to see and also those I didn’t get to see, yet I know this is where I am meant to be.

(I know I didn’t get to share about the amusement park I went to before I left- the review is coming next week!)

Apologies for the lack of images, I was too busy visiting!