Often times, I am looking at each relationship that surround me as what can be changed. Maybe it’s not being close enough with a child. Or maybe it’s being too close. Maybe it’s set on the wrong motives, not getting any deeper, standing still, or full of attitude and jokes. Or it’s built on only one thing, it’s getting stretched, it’s unlike the others. And I am constantly reminding myself that each relationship is its own and has it’s own special qualities to it that only the two people involved can incorporate into it.
About a month or two back, I shared a story of a new boy to the orphanage. He was terrified of my skin condition and would keep a safe distance away from me. Two weeks passed, and I was continuing to be a part of his daily life, allowing him to know that I am here not to harm him in any way, but only to love and care for him. Any time he sees me coming from afar, he’ll run up to me and give me a great big hug lasting 20-30 seconds. It’s consistent. I almost feel that I can’t properly greet the others in his house with him attached to my side, arms tightly wrapped around my waist. But, I do have to remember the transformation he made in trusting me within his first two weeks here. I want to be focused on the love that I get from him and can give back to him, not shifting towards being trapped against my will.
There’s one of the teen girls that like to laugh and joke around with me. She has a slight lisp and likes to strengthen that lisp when she yells my name from 100+ feet away. And I do too. I play along with her, saying her name with a lisp, making us both crack up laughing. Over a year later, and our relationship continues around us saying our names with lisps. I’m not too sure she correctly knows how to pronounce my name, I’m just keeping my focus on the joy we get to share together in our silly voices.
One of the younger girls came early this year with an older brother. She gets excited to see me each and every day, running up to me with a hug. But she follows that hug with a single word: “tickle!” She loves it when I slowly and lightly run my fingertips up her back, tickling her and filling her with laughter. I’m almost positive I only get hugs from her hoping she will get tickled back. I don’t want to be focused on the meaning behind the hug, I want my focus to be on knowing she can come to me when she needs anything, whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or a few fingertips crawling up her back.
And then there’s a 6 year old girl who I don’t get to see nearly as often as I’d like. She gets outside the house occasionally when going to or from school, grabbing lunch from the kitchen quickly or when everyone in her house goes out to play. She eats every meal inside her house, and goes to classes in the mornings, when most of the kids go in the afternoons. One day, I was walking past the cafeteria windows headed into work. I hear my name called out, and she’s standing inside the window, waving to me like crazy, making faces at me. I peek my head in through the broken window, and she’s so amazed I could stick my head through. It’s like the coolest thing ever! She runs outside to give me a hug, tells me she loves me and reassures me that she will never forget me, no matter how long she is at Casa Shalom. She gets excited to see some of her family members walking up the stairs and introduces me to each of them as “my friend Harper”. Their faces light up with joy, knowing that their daughter, niece, cousin is well loved and cared for.
And then there are those I do not share a close relationship I’d like to get to know better. Most of you that know me, know that I am not an active person, that soccer wold be one of the very last things I would ever participate in, especially if it’s with a bunch of Guatemalan boys who could break my arm with a kick of the ball. No, I didn’t jump into an intense game with the teenage boys. I passed the ball around with one of the pre-teen boys out of school. He was showing me some of the tricks he was trying to learn and asked me to try them too. He helped me with my aim and was showing me the different kicks he used, with different speeds, heights, and placement on his foot. It was a 20 minute game for us to connect, assist once another, chat a little bit, and not worry about anything surrounding us, just enjoying togetherness while watching the sun set over the mountains.
(har)Perseverance on a mission 