Month: August 2017

Rest

by perseveranceonamission

It’s something I don’t find I give myself enough of. With all that is happening in and around the orphanage with teams, kids, and visiting groups planning activities, I’m constantly keeping busy, which is good… sometimes. If there’s a job that needs to be done, I am usually quick to offer my assistance, no matter my free time. Like when I had the infection in my leg, I was quick to cover for another volunteer who went home early not feeling too great, acting as if nothing was wrong with me. I guess since being busy for almost 5 months straight, I am noticing everyday that I am grateful for a place of my own to have a place to retreat to when I’m almost at my breaking point.

I can’t help but put others in front of myself. I have to remember that I am worth taking care of and that I do need some time to myself as well, to refresh, recharge and to focus on my relationship with the Lord. I guess a day of rest is important if it is included in the ten commandments, “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work,  but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God…” (Exodus 20:8-10)

I have been recently trying to use my weekends as rest, although that’s the time of the week to also get the work that needs to be done outside of the office, like laundry, cleaning the house, or errands/outings. If you’ve been keeping up with my blogs and/or photos, I’m sure you’ve noticed that each month, we take the kids out to lunch if their birthday falls within that month. This weekend was a tough one. We had 11 kids in the month of August, with seven of them being 6 years or younger. That’s the age where they don’t pay too close attention to rules and wander off on their own if not watched closely. Most of the day was a job getting them to sit in the moving van, walking to and from the restroom, and answering the same question repeatedly. Thankfully there were also three old enough to help us control the little ones from disappearing.

My job for the afternoon was to stay at the back of the pack so no one gets lost, while also carrying around a little 3 year old everywhere we went. Let me tell you, carrying a 25-pound 3-year-old is cute for about 10 minutes. After almost 2 hours of picking up pizza, purchasing snacks and beverages, and getting ice cream after, my arms were feeling it. She was old enough to walk, yet when I put her down, she either try to run away or freeze, as if she was lost and didn’t know where to go or what to do. It was definitely one of the tougher birthday outings we have had. I definitely gave myself an hours rest after that.

All in all, I can say that I am ready for a few days off. I’m looking forward to staying in my bed past 7 am, knowing that I will be able to shower later in the day. I am ready to brush my teeth with sink water, control the temperature of the shower in the shower (instead of with a few knobs outside), and not have to walk outside to get to the bathroom. It will be nice to get some food in me that extends beyond eggs, rice, beans, tortillas, chicken, and hot dogs, and to have a stove/oven to cook (or bake) whatever I’m craving. Three more weeks and I will get to experience that rest, along with getting to see some of my friends and family I’ve been missing. I know that when I head out in a few weeks, I will be counting down the days ‘til I am reunited with my kids again.

Emotions running wild

by perseveranceonamission

Since I’ve been at Casa Shalom, I’ve teared up and/or bawled more than I’d like to admit in a 4 month span. Whether it’s watching a girl meet her parents for the first time, accepting a sibling group who have been severely abused, or watching the community come together as a boy fights an infection in his leg, I am unable to control my emotions as easily as I could before. I think my 11 months in Dallas was just lighting the flame for me. Not only was I transferring away from the only home city I knew (Jupiter, FL), I was often struggling with my emotions alone, at least for the first half of my stay. That is until a few women figured out which buttons to push to get the tears flowing. They wanted me to show my emotions more and not be afraid of a few drops of water coming from my eyes. I guess I just don’t want the surrounding company (friends, family, strangers) to be nervous or worried for me. Nor do I want them knowing more than they want to know about me. My tears actually got me into a little trouble recently….

Remember the boy I mentioned earlier with the infection in his leg? Guess who has one now after playing with him and loving on him over that week? My thigh is bright red, almost double the size, and causing me lots of pain when I walk, use, or readjust my leg. I have to hobble down the hill to get food, finish the work that needs to be done, or tell my family that I’m still alive and limping.

Sunday night on my way to dinner, one of the house moms was sitting on her porch and noticed me “walk” past her. She asked me if my leg hurts, then told me to join her seated down on the step. I gathered all my strength and slowly sat myself down with minimal pain. She got to talking to me, asking me everything ranging from my family, my next visit to the US, the pain, my leg, and my skin condition. She rubbed my leg and assured me God is with me, that He will heal me, and He created me like this for a purpose.

As we were talking, a few of the other house moms (that I think have come to like me) saw me getting emotional on their way to dinner. I hugged the nearest column to regain my footing with little pain and joined them for dinner. When I walked in the door, two kids were fighting over who could grab me a chair, and the house mom asked me to sit at the table because she wanted to serve me my dinner (I usually wait a minute or two at the kitchen window for my plate and hot beverage).

She hand me my plate and follows it with a 2 minute hug, which again brings me tears. “God is with you. He will never leave you. He loves you and so do I.” By the end of that, we’re both a mess. She sits down, and the next one is headed my direction. Oh no! “I don’t know what you’re going through. I have pain in my chest and I know God is bigger than that. He will be with me and with you. Do not be afraid.”

Ok…. After a months worth of tears were wiped up, I tried my hardest to enjoy dinner with the two house parents and the 12 kids at the table. Of course, they were all looking at me and the house moms with tears in our eyes, worried for me. I told them that I am in pain and that I will be ok. The caretakers didn’t want me saying to much to the kids, as it might’ve been personal. That didn’t stop their worries. The office gossip the following morning was that all of the kids in a certain house were worried for me after getting emotional with their house moms. Showing my emotions will get me (and the caretakers) in trouble every so often, so I gotta do my best to hold it back!

After a tear-filled dinner, I got to video chat with some of my people in Dallas. Did I forget to mention that my thigh is twice the size?! My bad! I preferred our 30 minute conversation to be filled with laughter, an adorable puppy, family photo albums, and worship music. I didn’t need another tear to fall that evening. I don’t want them to watch me cry in pain, being worried for me.

Update on my leg: I’ve visited the on-site nurse. She prescribed me antibiotics and told me to keep an eye on the color/size over the next few days. I’ve taken a few days worth of medicine, and am already seeing a difference. My thigh should be functioning as normal, pain-free before the start of next week. Back to hibernating in my room until everything clears up! Prayers accepted and very much appreciated!

“Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal.
Lay down your burdens, lay down your shame.
All who are broken, lift up your face.
Oh wanderer come home. You’re not too far.
Lay down your hurt, lay down your heart, come as you are!”

I’ve Been Spotted

by perseveranceonamission

This past Sunday, 24 of us piled into a 15 passenger van to be rewarded for good grades with lunch and ice cream at the beloved Guatemalan fast food chicken restaurant, Pollo Campero. It was a great afternoon that each of the 22 kids treasured and were grateful for. We got to walk around the mall, enjoy lunch/dessert together, and some of the younger ones even got to play in the jungle gym at the restaurant.

All the kids were excited to go. It was a big deal to them! And they SHOULD be proud of themselves for achieving above an 80% average for the first half of the school year. The girls put on make-up, they wore their prettiest clothing, and some brought their nice purses with them too. The boy were handsome. Hair gelled and combed back, with belts, nice black school shoes, and tucked in button-ups. I almost felt underdressed in my v-neck t-shirt!

It finally happened. My first spot spotting in Guatemala. The first time I’ve been approached by someone because they noticed my unusual skin condition and they think they have the solution for me. I’ve had a South American try to take a demon out of me. I was invited to a church down the road just so that the pastor and his father could pray for God to heal me like Jesus did the lepers. I was told I didn’t scrub myself well enough after a mud race. And I’ve gotten a child in trouble with his parents after he left art camp covered in brown washable marker spots, as he was only following my lead. Some make me laugh when I remember them. Others leave me in tears days, weeks, and even years later. I could keep going with stories upon stories, but I’ll stop there, for your sake and mine! I know a lot of people have said they’d love to make a movie of their own life, but I’ve gotta say mine would be pretty entertaining and an emotional rollercoaster (I might be slightly biased)!

While taking the kids with the highest grades out for lunch, we went to the mall next door, went upstairs, and found the ice cream stand we were all looking forward to. One missionary was up at the counter helping the kids order their dessert. I was about 100 feet away, helping guide the children to sit over at the tables and couches on the opposite side. They slowly made their way over, one by one. I sat alone at a table waving to each one so they know where to sit. I’m looking over towards the ice cream stand and I hear a voice coming toward me…

(paraphrased: conversation was in Spanish and I might’ve left out, forgotten, and/or misunderstood a few things)

“Can I sit here?”
“Yes, go ahead!”
“Do you believe in Jesus?”
“Yes”
“Do you search for him?
“Yes.”
“Have you accepted him into your heart?”
“Yes.”
“Can I pray for you?”
“Yes….”
(says a short prayer)

I wasn’t really sure where this was leading. She almost had that sales woman voice, maybe getting ready to deliver me a business card, a sales pitch, or a free sample? But, to be honest, I didn’t pay too much attention to her prayer after the few words I did hear, because I now realized where this conversation was headed .

“Why are you like this?”
“I was born like this.”
“That doesn’t matter. Do you believe in God?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure? If you have faith, these things will fall right off of you and leave you with the skin of a new baby.”
“I believe in God.”
“Can you go to the supermarket and get a bottle of oil?”
“No”
“Where do you live?”
“At a children’s home”
“And you are the only adult?”
“No.”
“Who else is with you?”
“The lady over there.”
“Can I talk with her?”
“No. Please, you don’t need to”
“So why can’t you leave to go to the supermarket to get the oil?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why? But you believe in Jesus, are you understanding me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to get rid of those?”
“No.”
“But why?”

One of the teen girls finally saved me and asked if I wanted to get some ice cream. I couldn’t have walked to that stand quicker. Not only because a delicious cone was calling my name, but so I would also feel comfortable in and proud of the skin God gifted to me.

While she was asking me these questions, I could easily understand what she was asking of me, but I was unable to put my thoughts into (Spanish) words… Until I started walking away. Even though I finally put enough words together to be able to express to her what I was feeling and thinking, I just kept walking away. God gave me this skin for a reason. I was created in His image and I want to stay as I am. Some may see it as a sickness or a badge of bad luck, a curse, or a sinful nature, but I see I as an aid to speak of His creation. People see me for the first time and ask me about my skin? The door is open! It was God. He created me perfectly in His image. Of course, it’s easier for me to say that all in my language, in my own blog post, but I wish I was able to share those thoughts with the woman and the kids who were within listening distance.

(Apologies for the rant, the only chances I get to speak of my own thoughts/experiences are either in this blog or the few video calls I have once a week. Rant over!)

Oh, remember that time I said I wasn’t sure when my next 4 am airport departure would be? It’s tomorrow!

 

A quick shout out/thank you to all of my supporters out there. Thank you to all those who join with me in prayer, financially support me, or have inspired me to take up God’s calling in my life. Last week, I was filled with some worry in making a plane ticket purchase. Yes, I had the money to purchase a round trip flight, but I know I will have to purchase two (at least) every year. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see all my supporters in the US as often as I can, but $1,000 is a lot to drop on plane tickets yearly. I purchased a round trip that was less than $500, as it was one of the lower prices with the greatest outcome. I checked my bank account a few days following, and not only was the cost of my round trip covered, but almost half of my next flight will be covered by my financial supporters. Just from those who gave in the month of July. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU! I couldn’t do any of this without your support, prayers, and love!